The Eerily Quiet Tea – Thursday 10th December 2015
Storrs Hall, Windermere, £24.00
A better day weather-wise after the recent biblical torrents in our neck of the woods. There are many ways that you can help those affected by the waters by donating money and goods (http://www.cumbriafoundation.org/ways-to-give-new/cumbria-flood-appeal-2015) and one of the least onerous is by patronising local businesses to allow them to keep functioning. So Princess K and I decided that we would do so by going for an afternoon tea, and given it was December we were hoping for festive spirit too. The roads up towards Windermere have water on them, but are not too treacherous and are definitely accessible. Definitely quiet as well.
On arrival the carpark was deserted as was the magnificent entrance hall apart from a lone receptionist at a tiny desk positioned by the front door. We were promptly ushered through high ceilinged rooms to a tiny laid table for two overlooking the side of the garden. Given we were the only customers I was a bit disappointed that it wasn’t overlooking the famous lake view. Still it was warm, beautifully decorated for Christmas and we were asked for our dietary requirements immediately.
Princess K found it hilarious that when we asked for tea we weren’t directed towards the extensive tea menu but an assumption was made about the type of tea we wanted. It was a lovely loose leaf tea, fruity with a fantastic tannin tang at the end. It went well with the food but Princess K did wonder if we had been sussed out as common and therefore unlikely to have a discerning palate.
A long tea stand was place conveniently on a side table beside us and we tucked in. (The waitress was gone in a flash before we could ask as to flavours so we have made assumptions about some things and apologise if these aren’t correct.) The sandwiches were all on lovely fresh bread that had a bite and spring to it. K said the ham was good, with grain mustard that she usually never eats but for today she was converted. Smoked mackerel pate for me first and it was very nice, not too chunky with a crunch of lettuce. I also enjoyed the egg mayo with onion and had both fingers as it was a step too far for K after her foray into the wildlands of whole grain mustard. We both found the poached salmon bland with limp cucumber and moved quickly on.
We had spotted a little warm savoury tartlet nestled curiously among the cakes and took the opportunity to rescue it. It was delightful. Crisp, buttery pastry with a tasty red pepper creamy filling that was just gorgeous. It gave us confidence to proceed onto the cakes. The Princess knows I have a cake strategy and generously allowed me to dictate what order we were to eat in.
So first up was a seedy cake with a fruity jelly on the top. It was bouncy, soft, walnutty and very nice indeed. We followed this with a fruity little tartlet encased by more of the lovely pastry we had earlier and filled with tangy apple, a moist cake and topped with blobs of pear puree. Very nice indeed, even if the pastry did defy Princess K by crumbling in her hands as it was very delicate. This is where my cake strategy backfired somewhat. We went for a vibrant pink macaroon that I had been looking forward to. I do love a macaroon. It was odd is all I can tell you. Not sure what the flavour was, chocolatey in the middle for sure but very sweet, too chewy and definitely too gooey. Thankfully we were saved by a lovely moussey thing with a slice of crisp green apple flavoured with cinnamon on top, a tart apple cream and a sweet apple mousse underneath. Very nice.
The scone was all that was left. It looked a little pale and precise compared to some more rustic ones we have encountered but I persuaded Princess K to not let that put her off. There was a tart conserve bursting with whole strawberries, clotted cream but no butter (and no staff in sight to ask for some). Not the perfect combo for me. Cutting them, the scones were very soft and falling apart but still able to be piled with the conserve and cream, although the fruit took its cue from the pastry and resisted K’s efforts to balance it properly on top. The scones were buttery although crumbling and soft, but we both felt the conserve was too tart and needed more sugar as it was too discordant a note. I ate both halves as I was not feeling uncomfortably full at this point, and in fact this just left me feeling replete rather than stuffed.
The whole atmosphere was very genteel Agatha Christie crossed with Downton Abbey. It was quiet, obviously due to peoples concerns about the weather. In fact it was so quiet it would have benefitted from a little background music. The quiet was a bit spooky to be honest, and when we both ventured out, separately, to powder our noses we found little groups of staff huddled together as if for protection. It was not very festive either, I was at least hoping for a mince pie or piece of Christmas cake. Alas no, although the decorations were sumptuous.
As we left I was pleased to see that there were more cars in the carpark, hopefully this is replicated across Cumbria so that businesses are not too badly financially hit by the floods. Poetry talk took up our journey home. Princess K has had a thoroughly deserved fabulous review in the TLS this week and was looking forward to running a poetry residential this weekend so there was lots to mull over. And of course we had the fall back topic of carolling with the Junior Brass Band she conducts and I play in.
So finally I would like to tell you we are playing at the Big Tesco in Barrow on Tuesday 15th and Saturday 19th December and recommend you come along and throw a little change in our buckets, we are funded entirely by donation and provide all the uniform and instruments free of charge to the children so every little helps (did you see what I did there???).
Overall marks (out of 5 stars)
Service: *** Pleasant, professional and helpful, but quite distant
Amount of Food: *** We finished it all but weren’t stuffed
Quality of Food: *** Some lovely items but a few jarring notes
Value for money: *** Quite expensive, you are paying for the surroundings
Description: ‘Just about enough’ ‘Genteel’
Their website is here http://www.storrshall.com/
They are on Trip Advisor http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g190820-d269494-Reviews-Storrs_Hall-Bowness_on_Windermere_Lake_District_Cumbria_England.html they are also on Facebook and Twitter
And my suggested track for today’s tea is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9HsGsB-MCM (obvious but appropriate)
helenwedgwood 