#40 The PEOPLE WATCHING TEA

The People Watching Tea – Thursday 27th October 2016      

The Belsfield Hotel, Bowness-on-Windermere, Cumbria £21.90 for Afternoon Tea

A greyer day this end of the week after the glories at the start. Much more misty and spooky as befitting the proximity of Halloween and a bit drizzly indicating that the British winter is on its way. C and I arrived early for our tea here as the traffic wasn’t as heavy as feared, but it just gave us more time to admire the Laura Ashley touch this hotel has been given. A modern glass foyer has been added to a much older building giving a light open feel that is very inviting.

The hotel is tucked away on the hillside overlooking the Lake at Bowness, and you wouldn’t really know there is such hustle and bustle in the town below. It feels classy as you walk through and from our observations attracts a well-heeled couple-y clientele rather than having a more family appeal. We did spend a good deal of our time watching the people around us (and the people at the table behind us spent their time watching us, so heaven only knows what they made of our afternoon!), especially the couple we invented a whole back story for including online websites, new romance and clandestine meetings culminating in lunch and passion in Bowness.

From the selection of teas on offer I chose my usual English Breakfast and C went for an organic green rooibos.  This was provided swiftly, proper tea leaves and fancy strainers, in modern china. An initial embarrassment when they had confused us with another booking and forgotten we had ordered vegetarian was swiftly remedied and we were provided with several plates of sandwiches. Each.

The cream cheese and cucumber were nice and fresh and the cheese and tomato were full of flavour and liberally spread with butter. We also had two large slices of toasted bread each spread with hummus and sweet pickled peppers. The topping was lovely but the toast had gone a little soft with the moisture of the filling which was a shame. Finally two fingers of smoked salmon each, lovely soft smoke with a sweet cream cheese. A good selection.

Having eaten all we could, whilst saving room for the cakes to follow, we were presented with a tall unadorned cake stand with our treats. Obviously the cake strategy came into play and this time, as it turned out, I did not choose entirely wisely. First up was a popcorn pannacotta that had an oozing toffee centre and salty popcorn on top. The combination of textures and salty sweet were just right and it was judged overall a success. With brimming hope for later tastes next was a deconstructed Millionaires Shortbread served in a little shot glass. The strong chocolate top, runny caramel and shortbread crumbs were nice, but not as good as the pannacotta.

So to the cake selection. A tall slice of Victoria sandwich was a good cake but sadly lacking in filling, not the right ratio leaving it feeling a bit dry although the jam inside was very nice. The Jaffa cake ball was dry too, and the chocolate was too bitter for my taste and over powered any orange flavour there was. Finally the lemon swiss roll had a lovely tart taste to it but was a bit solid. Overall a bit disappointing.

By this time we were quite full and decided to share a large fruit scone, which, although not brimming with fruit, was lovely and buttery. The home made strawberry conserve was fruity and tasty, if a bit runny, and the clotted cream felt more like the extra thick double cream I only allow myself at Christmas because, delicious as it is, I can feel it coating the inside of my thighs as I eat. Plenty to make a fat scone to share but probably not enough if you were to eat both scones presented.

We sat for a while enjoying the view over the lake and idly listening in on conversations. By this time our romantic pair had wandered off hand in hand and giggling so we were mostly listening to exclamations about the generosity of size of the scones. It was calm and peaceful and we were reluctant to leave, but eventually we asked for our leftovers to be boxed up (there were lots of sandwiches and the scones of course) and off we toddled admiring the décor and architectural curiosities as we left.

Overall marks (out of 5 stars)

Service:                                ***1/2    Observant and eager to please

Amount of Food:               ****        We were well supplied and took some home too

Quality of Food:                ***1/2    Good, but some of the cakes were on the dry side

Value for money:              ***          Definitely paying for the venue and surroundings as well as food

Description:                        ‘light and stylish décor’ ‘impressive entrance’

The website is here http://www.lauraashleyhotels.com/thebelsfield/?gclid=CLHcnbfOgtACFakK0wodjc0Awg

They are on Trip Advisor https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g190820-d192755-Reviews-Laura_Ashley_Hotel_The_Belsfield-Bowness_on_Windermere_Lake_District_Cumbria_England.html   they are also on Facebook and Twitter

 

And my suggested track for today’s tea is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ChoOH3RAUA

 

 

#39 The MUDDLED STYLE TEA

The Muddled Style Tea – Monday 24th October 2016      

The Daffodil Hotel and Spa, Grasmere, Cumbria £19.95 for Luxury Afternoon Tea

Autumn is definitely here. Honeyed sunshine, low on the horizon dappling through changing leaves and a definite chill in the air. Leaves whirling everywhere and time for half term after a long half term. W and I were determined to have a real treat to reward our hard work over the last few weeks and I conveniently had a voucher for the luxury afternoon tea at The Daffodil. I have been hoarding this since last Christmas, first I was thwarted by the floods which closed the hotel until July, then by my busy summer holidays and with the expiry date looming we decided to go for it!

The drive up was slow and lazy, the weather was warm and had brought out families keen to make the most of it before the long dark haul of winter, tour buses were out in force and crazy pedestrians leaping from crowded pavements made the slow pace seem sensible. The arrival at Grasmere was less than salubrious, roadworks right outside the hotel causing chaos in the heavy traffic, but pulling into the carpark we were able to admire its splendour. It’s a huge slate building, built on a grand Victorian scale with glorious views overlooking the Lake.

We were directed to the dining room and quickly seated at a table overlooking the lake and the flourishing show of the surrounding hillsides. Efficiency was the keyword here. Water was poured, menus brought, our tea was ordered, they checked that we were non meat eaters before we even had thought of it ourselves and we were given the drinks menu if we fancied a little something stronger. We did. W had an Elderflower Fizz (elderflower gin and prosecco) and I had a Molton Brown (Chambord, Amaretto and bumbleberry juice, whatever that is). Both great choices which made us think carefully about what to sip when.

We sat for a while chatting, sipping and looking at the newly refurbished décor. We were a little perplexed and uncertain where it was placing itself. The hotel is very large yet seems to be going for a small hotel boutique feel, dark walls (a greeny brown I really didn’t like), funky colour changing uplighters (can I just put out there that red lights give me The Rage), avant garde photos of celebrities (former clients?) on the walls. It reminded us a bit of a cruise ship lounge. The waiting staff were oddly attired too, I felt they wouldn’t look out of place at TGI Fridays with their white shirts, chinos and braces ensemble. Yet everything was delivered in a formal, silver service kind of way.

Then The Cake Stand arrived. Note the deliberate use of capitals. An elegant art deco style stand was put before us, dripping with treats, so much so the savouries and sandwiches were on their own little platter. The table was not really big enough to accommodate such riches as well as teapot, milk jug and water bottle too so they were relegated to the spacious windowsill. And the smell! I was positively drooling with greed as the staff explained what we had before us and retired to let us dig in.

The delicious smell coming from the savouries made us keen to dig in, and after requesting a little butter that is exactly what we did. A warm cheese and sundried tomato tart started us off well, a crisp pastry mouthful with a delicious filling, and was followed by a cheesy little scone that had a crisp outside and fluffy inside that butter just melted into. The sandwiches soon followed and did not disappoint either, the red pepper and cream cheese wrap could have had a little more cheese if I’m being picky but the sweet peppers were just right. Two fingers of standard sandwiches followed. The egg mayo was creamy and not vinegary, just as I like it, and the grated cheese with carrot and peppery spring onion were even better. Yet again a combination I had not tried and will certainly be giving it a go at home.

And here it was. The cakes and sweets selection. And what an exciting choice. Most no bigger than a teaspoon sized mouthful (thankfully, there was so much on offer and we would have hated to be too full to try everything). And all beautifully finished and elegantly presented. It was tricky to employ the cake strategy as there was so much to choose from. I went for a tiny loaf of cake that I though was carrot but turned out to be walnut, moist and fluffy with proper buttercream piped on top and sprinkled with tiny nibs of nut. A great opener that was swiftly followed by a jelly and pannacotta layered dessert that was well set, had flecks of real vanilla through the creamy top and a fresh strawberry jelly so far removed from a children’s party offering to be sophisticated and grown up. It was going well. I then moved on to the tiny glazed ring doughnut, my first real disappointment of the whole Tea. It had a brittle texture and was very oily so I only had a nibble. I swiftly recovered with a crisp little sweet pastry tart filled with a soft custard and fresh raspberry.

For a few minutes I had been eyeing up the two types of cake pop. I like a nice lump of cake on a stick and here were two big globes. The first was chocolate and banana with a surprise of popping candy in the middle and the other was a lovely vanilla and strawberry blob coated in hundreds and thousands. All jolly good fun. By this time I felt suitably removed from the ring doughnut experience to try the ball shaped one. This was much better, fluffy on the inside covered ion a milk chocolate glaze and filled with a rich chocolate ganache. Feeling in a chocolate mood I moved on to a chocolate square. Layers of cake, mousse and ganache topped with half a sharp raspberry. Lovely textures and mix of flavours in a dainty cube that was just the right size. By this time the stand was looking decidedly less full and the buttery little Viennese whirl was winking at me, little tease, and certainly it was as enjoyable as it promised. Crumbly, jammy and melt in the mouth. Finally I came to the macaron. Raspberry and dark chocolate, crisp outside, chewy inside and very well put together. The filling was a bit rich after all the other delights and I possibly would have put in a raspberry jelly but that is just personal taste.

Full of tummy we turned to the scones. Two each! One plain and one fruit. Fresh made jam and clotted cream were served alongside and were both as right and as yummy as they should be. I had half of each scone to give them both a try, but knew even then that I was making myself far too full for comfort. Both had a lovely buttery flavour and were crisp on the outside and were moist and fluffy on the inside. A great ending.

By this time we were groaning with all we had consumed, very little was left, one little scone and two halves of scone that I brought home for Queenie (which she thoroughly enjoyed for her supper). I must say that it was a fantastically luxurious treat, everything was well made, well flavoured and exquisitely presented and I think it would go down well as a gift if any of you are thinking of upcoming Christmas present ideas. The staff were lovely and we felt well taken care of without being too fussed over.

So we rolled our way down to the car park for an equally lazy drive home, no sudden movements as we were far too full. Now it could be that we were high on sugar but as we were tootling along we saw a large golden feline shape in a field. W and I are convinced it was a mountain lion….

Overall marks (out of 5 stars)

Service:                                ****        Helpful, friendly but possibly a bit informal for such a classy venue

Amount of Food:               *****      Fantastic spread, other people had lots of left overs we were much more greedy

Quality of Food:                ****3/4 Outstanding (but I took a smidge off for the weird ring doughnut)

Value for money:              *****      Cannot fault it

Description:                        ‘Amazing flavours’ ‘Just WOW!’ ‘It feels like we’re on a cruise ship’

The website is here http://daffodilhotel.co.uk/

They are on Trip Advisor https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g186324-d3331515-Reviews-The_Daffodil_Hotel_Spa-Grasmere_Lake_District_Cumbria_England.html    they are also on Facebook and Twitter

 

And my suggested tracks for today’s tea are https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTVjnBo96Ug and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLhN__oEHaw to reflect the style dichotomy

 

 

#37 The GIRD YOUR LOINS TEA

The Gird Your Loins Tea – Saturday 27th August 2016      

The Duke of Edinburgh Hotel, Barrow-in-Furness, Cumbria £10.95 for Afternoon Tea (£3 extra for a glass of prosecco)

So the summer holidays for those of us in the English education system draws to a close and it was time for me and the lovely W to have a catch up as we haven’t seen each other since the end of July. It was also time for the now annual back to school tea to fortify ourselves for the onslaught of a new term and the dark slog to Christmas. That makes it sound like we are being forced down the pit or something. Not the right image at all. It’s just that by the time we get to Christmas the days are short, nights are long, and these balmy, hazy summer afternoons just a distant Shangri-La of hope.

On arrival our table was waiting in the main bar area and we were quickly provided with a big pot of tea and asked if we would like anything stronger too. In light of our need for bracing against the relentless pull of the Autumn Term we decided to go the whole hog and order a whole bottle of prosecco rather than just a mere glass each. A good plan. Alternating a sip of bubbles and a slurp of tea made for a jolly afternoon.

Our cake stand was of the slate variety, and definitely wobbly, but was packed full of enough food to make us want to dive straight in. The big pile of sandwiches on the bottom layer provided us with three large fingers of 4 kinds of sandwiches, all meat free as I had remembered to tell them in advance that both of us didn’t eat it. It did mean we had two fish varieties, which is not a problem for me but W doesn’t really eat much fish at all so it was a bit of overkill for her. The cheese savoury was a good sandwich, not too much mayo and a good cheesy flavour, and the sunblush tomato and cream cheese was nice too, if a little heavy handed on the tomato. W tried the tuna mayo sandwich and pronounced it just ‘OK’ whilst I tucked into the thickly filled smoked salmon and cream cheese variety. A decent selection, but rather a reliance on cream cheese I felt.

The cakes on the stand were next, and the cake strategy was put into action. Sort of. There were three little macarons each. I will not call them dainty as they were a bit lumpen and not smooth as a macaron should be and had one half bigger than the other. We decided in determining our tactics to start with one of them then have a cake, then a macaron, then a cake, finishing off with a macaron. Tasting the first macaron was a bit disappointing, it was overcooked, far too crispy, full of lumps of almond and sandwiched with cream. Not a good start. The lemon drizzle cake made up for this though. It was moist, sweet and the raspberry on top gave a fantastic tart contrast to the sugariness of the cake. I had another macaron, and was disappointed all over again so decided to call it a day with them and not go for the final one, I instead just ate the dense, fudgy brownie which was so darkly chocolatey that it left a dry after taste.

And finally we got to the scones, with jam and Chantilly cream. They were a bit dry, although full of fruit and could have done with a bit of butter before applying the jam and cream. The jam was from one of those individual pots that I am not a fan of, but was a nice strawberry flavour, but there really could have been more of it to make the scone less dry. The Chantilly cream bothered me, however. Not the fact that it was Chantilly not clotted, that I can forgive for such a bargain price. But it just tasted odd, not of vanilla as it should but very strongly almondy. In fact it was so odd I scraped most of it off my second half of scone as I really didn’t like it at all.

We sat for a fair while after we had finished eating. There was prosecco to drink and no rush to be anywhere. There were also stories of holidays to catch up on and other Teas to plan and it was nice to sit and not be rushing to drive off back home as we had both arrived on shank’s pony, having planned in advance we were having our bubbles. But as the ‘finished shopping and dropping in for a quick snifter on the way home’ crowd began to morph into the ‘early start for a good Saturday night sesh’ mob we called it a day. The venue is, after all, a pub bar without much of a view apart from the busy road outside and that can only entertain for so long.

Overall marks (out of 5 stars)

Service:                                ***          Prompt and attentive in a pub bar staff kind of way

Amount of Food:               ***          We weren’t overwhelmed with food, but there was a decent amount of sandwiches each

Quality of Food:                **1/2      The cakes were generally not a good bake

Value for money:              ***          Not bad as the food was fresh and definitely made on the premises

Description:                        ‘High quality napkins’ ‘bit of a Brit Pop vibe here’

The website is here http://www.dukeofedinburghhotel.co.uk/

They are on Trip Advisor https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g190821-d679951-Reviews-The_Duke_of_Edinburgh_Hotel-Barrow_in_Furness_Lake_District_Cumbria_England.html  they are also on Facebook.

 

And my suggested track for today’s tea is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzQYtpjMjSo

 

#27 The HAIRY LEGS TEA

The Hairy Legs Tea – Saturday 26^th March 2016      

Holbeck Ghyll Hotel, Windermere, Cumbria £20 for Afternoon Tea

(Apologies for no photographs today. My PC has decided they were too tasty to miss and ate them all. Here is a picture of kitty cats instead.)

Another Birthday celebration for lucky me as my friend L missed my party and wanted to help me celebrate with a lovely Tea instead. L has made appearances on the blog before, she is my friend who has diabetes and fortunately manages it really well as I am always concerned that I am basically saying to her ‘Come for afternoon tea so I can kill you with cake.’ She is kind enough to demur to this and assures me that she does not view my biddings as such but I am always worried she thinks I ask her with murderous intent.

Honestly, you would not credit the weather today, cold, autumnal and grotty as anything. Surprising as it is supposed to be the start of spring here in the UK and the day before had been warm with sunshine. We rushed in, away from the spattering rain, and were greeted promptly and efficiently and shown to a table in a room full of other partakers of the Tea. Our teapot was brought swiftly before we had spotted that the room overlooked the spa facilities (with views of hairy legs and dressing gown clad persons) and had a doorway to the spa through which guests wandered from time to time amongst the refined diners. A little disconcerting to the unwary.

I am sure I said that one of us was vegetarian when I booked, but being terribly British about it I didn’t check on arrival so we were presented with a plate of sandwiches that included a ham and piccalilli one each. Oops. Just as well that L doesn’t care for smoked salmon so we swapped cheerfully. The cucumber with horseradish was the best here for me, its vinegary tang and peppery burn was nice with the blandness of the cucumber, the smoked salmon was a bit bland an under seasoned, especially as the butter was unsalted on the bread. L enjoyed her ham, it was carved off the bone and the piccalilli was nicely mustardy.

Time for a liquid top up so we asked for more tea. The first pot had been a strong afternoon blend with a kick of tannin that could have woken an army of somnambulists, our second pot of English Breakfast was much calmer and fruitier and better suited to the occasion.

Sandwich platter cleared away, a silver cake stand was ceremoniously placed in front of us and the charming waiter described our plethora of delicacies. We had five each plus a scone. A lot of choice and very well executed. I reminded L of my Cake Strategy, but with the warning that is usually back fired and provided my with a few surprises and sometimes meant we ate cake in the wrong order (ie yummiest first). There was a little discussion as to what we should have first and we agreed on the one that looked our least favourite.

Again the inevitable downfall of The Strategy for me. The hazelnut bun was a crunchy, crispy almost doughnut like bun filled with hazelnut crème pat and covered in thick dark chocolate. And it was delicious. Best of the lot for me. Next was the orange and chocolate macaron, which L described as ‘rocket fuel for diabetics’, sweet, strongly flavoured, perky outside with a chewy middle. What’s not to love in that? Up next was a buttery, crisp pastry shell filled with tart lemon curd and an enormous cloud of meringue. This was very crumbly and a bit explosive so needed a spoon to eat it with (and a knife in L’s case as she got it everywhere).

On to a rhubarb crumble topped pannacotta which was difficult to extricate from the small glass and spilled everywhere as the rhubarb fought against leaving its little hidey hole and insisted on bringing everything with it if it was to leave. It was a bit bland too, not enough rhubarb punch. Finally a triangle of Bakewell Tart that was delightful. Tart jam, sweet nutty topping and the lovely pastry again. It was L’s favourite so the Cake Strategy worked for her.

So on to the scone. Lots right with this one. Not too big. Butter, jam and clotted cream. Crumbly but not too dry and you could taste they were made using butter. A bit weirdly though the fruit seemed stuck onto the outside and there was none in the middle of the scone. How do you make that happen??

L and I lingered a fair while. Catching up, talking about old friends, discussing the uses for a pudding spoon (no, you’re right you don’t want to know). No one hurried us to finish or seemed in any rush to usher us from the premises. The service was excellent throughout, charming and helpful, and certainly a credit to the hotel.

Definitely a good way to continue celebrating my birthday.

Overall marks (out of 5 stars)

Service:                                ***1/2    Prompt and polite

Amount of Food:               ***          I ate all of mine but was not too stuffed

Quality of Food:                ***1/2    Some lovely surprises and flavours, well presented

Value for money:              ***1/2    Definitely a good value tea

Description:                       ‘I’ve just seen some VERY hairy legs’ ‘Lovely variety of cakes’

Their website is here  http://www.holbeckghyll.com/

They are on Trip Advisor here www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g186330-d193914-Reviews-Holbeck_Ghyll_Country_House-Windermere_Lake_District_Cumbria_England.html    and they are on Facebook and Twitter.

 

And my suggested track for today’s tea is www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-TSXC2ut9o (but please don’t feel you have to listen to all 2 hours of it).

#21 The GOOD CAUSE TEA

The Good Cause Tea – Thursday 29^th October 2015      

St Mary’s Hospice Orangery Cafe, Ulverston, £9.95

I’d been having one of those days I always seem to have in half term. Taxi service for the kids, treating them to lunch because they’ve both worked hard with the children at the Sports Equity events, visiting Queenie, cleaning, and all by 1.30 when I had to pick up C and S for our usual half termly catch up. To top it all the day had started out drizzly and grey so I was feeling a bit grumbly in general. Thankfully Freyr had been listening to my mutterings, taken pity on my for once, and hopped into Skidbladnir and sailed over to chase away the murkiness so the day turned itself around into beautiful, soft, buttery autumn sunshine to frame the grounds at St Mary’s perfectly.

Our reserved table was in a light corner of the Orangery where we could take advantage of the views and be close enough to the counter to trot back and forth to choose our sandwiches (two types from prawn, tuna, egg mayo, ham and cheese and pickle), a drink (again a decent choice although in accordance with ‘The Way of The Tea’ we all had tea) ask for more water and generally make our presence felt. The staff are predominantly volunteers here and are some of the most friendly, approachable and helpful I have experienced in any café. Well done to them for such professional service!

Given that we ordered our sandwiches as we arrived, it was only a matter of minutes before a tea pot and a huge plate of them was brought to us complete with a colourful dressed salad and cheeky little pot of crisps. No thrown together platter this either, five plump half sandwiches each on lovely fresh bread, no rubbery supermarket sliced here but a selection of brown and white that had proper bread flavour. The tuna was pronounced scrummy with not too much mayo, likewise the egg mayo which was creamy too, the prawns were fat and tasty in a sweet Marie Rose sauce and the cheese and pickle were not too dry.

    

I generously allowed C and S to finish my sandwiches if they wished. Not for any altruistic reasons or because I think they need fattening up to match my rotundity, but because I wanted to be able to eat as much as possible of the delicious cakes and scones served next. Alas not on a cake stand, but in this case it did not detract particularly from the overall experience.

First was a finger of Millionaires Shortcake with a twist. Dark chocolate on top and a chocolate biscuit base which was rich and more-ish. Second was a lovely light, proper gingerbread. It was moist and treacly so a good dark brown in colour, and the ginger was a warm tickle on the taste buds rather than an overpowering punch in the mouth.

 

So to the scones. In a twist a large fruit scone had been chopped into chunky bits on which to pile jam, cream and strawberries. They were fruity and crumbly but a little dry, probably because they had been cut up for us. There were plenty of accompaniments to make fat scone pieces but no butter and the cream was not clotted and I would have liked a bit more scone to decorate. But on the positive side the strawberries were sweet and juicy and there were little physallis too with which to adorn our creations.

Too busy chatting about approaching big birthdays, respective children and elderly relatives, we did not notice the light beginning to droop, the cafe emptying or the staff clearing up around us. It was only when S did a casual check of her watch that we discovered to our horror we had outstayed our welcome. Not that the staff would have said a word, bless them! No hurry to make us leave, just left in peace to enjoy our tea. Excellent.

We paid quickly, apologised profusely, donated to the cause heartily and sped off rapidly. (Oh I do like a good adverb, don’t you?)

Overall marks (out of 5 stars)

Service:                                ****        Swift, helpful and cheery – and run by volunteers!

Amount of Food:               ***1/2    A decent size portion especially the sandwiches

Quality of Food:                ***1/2    Lovely home baked cakes and tasty sandwiches too

Value for money:              ****        A great deal

Description:                       ‘Fantastic service’ ‘Look at all those sandwiches’

Their website is here http://www.stmaryshospice.org.uk/support/cafe (please visit the rest of the site to see the amazing work they do)

They are on Trip Advisor http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g499564-d2284571-Reviews-The_Orangery-Ulverston_Cumbria_England.html  they are also on Facebook and Twitter

And my suggested track for today’s tea is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=110Jl_JK9VE

#19 The NO FRILLS TEA

The No Frills Tea – Thursday 15^th October 2015      

Crooklands Garden Centre, Dalton-in-Furness £9.95

Haven’t seen my lovely friend L since the end of the summer holidays so with a rare afternoon off each we decided to sneak in an afternoon tea. Not having too much time before we both had to be teenage taxi services we stayed local and went to Crooklands. The reputation of this café has been steadily growing and they have opened a modern rustic barn themed function room that is becoming popular with brides and the murder mystery crowd alike.

We arrived at 2 when they start serving afternoon tea and sat at a table straddling the bright function room area and the duskier café zone that leads to a childrens play space. Whilst it wasn’t packed out on an unseasonably warm mid October day there was a hum of conversation and an occasional peacock squawk from a lively toddler across the way.

Orders are taken at the counter and the tea seems to be a set menu with ham sandwiches being provided even when we asked for vegetarian if possible. A squat, fat teapot arrived quickly and we had time to almost drain it whilst they prepared our food. Fortunately a quick trip to the counter for more hot water was successful and enough libation was available throughout.

A twenty minute interlude concluded with the arrival of an unfussy cake stand and we tucked in. Each of us had a long skewer of 6 triangles of sandwich, a slim piece of cake, half a piece of tray bake each and a huge scone with butter, jam and clotted cream. Not overly abundant compared to other home-grown offerings but just about enough to ensure no complaints, although I was able to eat my dinner later without feeling like a big fat pig.

The sandwich selection was nice, if plain. The cheese could have benefited from some cucumber or tomato, as could the carved ham according to L. The tuna and sweetcorn was the best of the bunch. It was juicy, without mayonnaise and you could really taste the fish. We both enjoyed the accompanying crisps which tasted like the posh hand cooked type and used them to brighten up our plainer sandwiches. Some salad wouldn’t have gone amiss though.

Our cake selection was skimpy but well made. The coffee cake was suitably moist with a strong coffee flavour. Its buttercream was sweet but in plentiful supply and even L who does not like coffee cake said she thought others who did would like it. The other cake was a piece of traybake, chocolate orange flavour with maltesers. Very nice indeed and a lovely surprise as to how delicious it was.

 

Finally to the scones. A big fat cylinder each with individual pats of butter, jam portions and a pot of clotted cream. They were disappointing though, too dry, not buttery in flavour and not enough fruit giving an altogether distinct lack of flavour. The clotted cream was proof that the correct type of cream can be done in this price range which was fab to see (perhaps they have read my blog already??) but the tiny butter and jam portions seemed a bit meagre and not really enough if you wanted to have a nice fat scone worth of covering on both halves. Jam from a jar spooned into a little pot is not expensive to provide and neither is a blob of butter on a saucer both of which would have added a little trimming to this tea.

 

Definitely a no frills approach here, and fine for an impromptu repast. However, locally there are other venues within a similar price range who do manage the frills, so perhaps a small rethink is needed?

Overall marks (out of 5 stars)

Service:                                ***          Friendly café style service

Amount of Food:               ***          A modest spread

Quality of Food:                ***          Good home baked cakes, scones not up to par though

Value for money:              ***          A pretty good showing against local competition

Description:                       ‘A simple, honest approach’ ‘Fresh homemade cakes a nice surprise’

Their website is here  http://www.crooklands.co.uk/cafe.html#ad-image-0/

They are on Trip Advisor http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g950944-d951981-Reviews-Crooklands_Cafe-Dalton_Cumbria_England.html they are also on Facebook

And my suggested track for today’s tea is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6fZskO-4Qw funnily enough when searching for a track to suggest I stumbled across this and it sounded just like the music playing at Crooklands!

#18 The DECIDEDLY AUTUMNAL TEA

The Decidedly Autumnal Tea  – Saturday 10^th October 2015      

Linthwaite House, Nr Windermere £21

What a gorgeous location today for a very decidedly autumnal tea. Shame the weather was too cool or we would have most definitely sat out on the terrace to take advantage of the view.

As it was we were offered a choice of two other places to sit, by the fire or in a light veranda room, both of which had been laid out in readiness. Now that is what I call planning for all eventualities. The chilly nip in the outside air meant we unanimously chose the table by the fire and settled ourselves in.

 

The furniture is a mixture of modern yet classic styles and very well cared for. No shabby chic here. Just lovely arrangements of complimentary styles like in one of those more welcoming stately homes. The staff were exceptionally warm and friendly throughout our visit and our pots of tea were brought almost before we had settled in. Not that we felt rushed, just treated liked valued friends to be given our treats without delay. Miss P and the Fragrant Mrs HW went a bit rogue and plumped for a glass of Sauvignon Blanc as well. Mind you on trying a tiny sip I kind of wished I wasn’t the one driving. It was lovely, grapefruit flavours, fruity and cold. Not your cheap supermarket plonk with undertones of vinegar but light and fragrant as Mrs HW herself.

Soon plates of sandwiches were brought and rearranging of the table was like a complicated jigsaw to make sure we could fit them and the plates with the hot savouries on. We all began with the goats’ cheese and red onion tart. And what a good choice that was, a true high note to start. Amazingly crisp pastry, crumbly and buttery, goats’ cheese that tasted appropriately of goat and a slather of red onion jam underneath that was sweet and savoury in equal measure. Stunning and exquisite. No other description will do.

 

Sandwiches next. All vegetarian as W when she booked had requested, and after the glorious tart we were anticipating greatness. We got passable. A bit underwhelming really. They were nice enough on a mix of brown and white bread, but I think a trick was missed as vegetarian does not have to be the standard cafe type offerings, as other establishments have proved. The egg mayo tasted properly of good egg and not too much mayo and was probably the nicest of the bunch. The cucumber and soft cheese was under seasoned as the cucumber was a bit watery and tasteless, and the cheese and pickle was a bit dry with too sweet pickle. The final one, salad, might as well not have been there, no flavour I’m afraid. W thinks lettuce is a bit of an aberration anyway and should have a world-wide ban and was suitably scathing.

Whilst waiting for a delivery of cake I chose to show off my lovely new book for writing my notes on afternoon tea in. I think you’ll agree with me it is lovely and very appropriate. And not with the rude person in our party who felt sorry for my old notebook (which I may add I have not abandoned and will use in case of an emergency or surprise tea when I am not carrying my glorious new book) and declared it to be ‘All fur coat and no knickers’. RUDE.

Before a fist fight could progress the cake stand was delivered and equilibrium restored.

Everything looked suitably dainty and pretty, and there were even two little scones each, one fruited and one plain. More of those later. I stupidly ignored my own rule of saving what I think will be the nicest cake and started with a beautiful little lemon meringue pie. More of the crispy pastry with a tart curd and soft Italian meringue hat topped with a bobble of raspberry. Kicked myself for not saving it to last. I followed with a carrot cake that others liked but I found a bit too hospitally tasting for me, but it had a lovely crunch of nuts in it and the use of cinnamon was noteworthy. Again the others liked the white chocolate brownie but I found it a bit too cakey not squidgy enough. The cake was studded with pistachios and topped with a soft chocolate paste, all very nice but from the description I was expecting that brownie texture and was disappointed not to find it. Finally was a lovely little pot of sharp fruit topped with a smooth creamy pannacotta which I really enjoyed. The contrast of the flavours was perfect and stopped it being too rich.

 

And once again the final hurrah of the scones. Very enterprising to put on two kinds for those of us of a fussy (one track mind) persuasion. Both were crumbly and buttery and smelled gorgeous. The taste did not live up to the promise. They were too flat, not fluffy enough inside and there was a tang to them that I couldn’t quite identify, peppery like ginger but with the harder after taste of baking powder, and the fruity one did not have anywhere near enough fruit in it. They were much more like a biscuit. Butter, damson jam and clotted cream were provided but in somewhat parsimonious amounts, so ticks for all three, but not enough to make fat scones for all.

Tea was drunk in large amounts, laughs and indiscretions confessed and a spirited discussion as to appropriate music selection for the blog wound up proceedings. We all had a trip to the lovely facilities before we set off for home and much admiration was given to the wallpaper there and the decorative pictures. I was able to show off my maths prowess as we divided up the bill and was able to impress even myself with my rapid calculations (thank you Y3 partitioning skills). A final look at the gorgeous surroundings and it was time to head off home so two of our number could freshen up for further evening festivities.

  

Post Script regarding Sandwiches

Now if any chef or hotel happens to read my blog and wants some advice as to more adventurous and tasty sandwiches for vegetarians I would welcome all enquiries. And be happy to help, advising, testing, eating etc etc (mostly eating if I’m honest, love a sandwich, I do).

Overall marks (out of 5 stars)

Service:                                ****        Warm, friendly and approachable

Amount of Food:               ***1/2    A not too overwhelming spread, we were full but not to bursting

Quality of Food:                ***          Some excellent pieces, others less memorable

Value for money:              ***          Not bad, but could do better with regard to sandwiches

Description:                        ‘That sort of really posh place where the staff are lovely and don’t make you feel inferior’  ‘Amazing pastry – stunning tart’

Their website is here http://www.linthwaite.com/

They are on Trip Advisor http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g190820-d191527-Reviews-Linthwaite_House_Hotel-Bowness_on_Windermere_Lake_District_Cumbria_England.html    they are also on Facebook and Twitter

And my suggested track for today’s tea is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21ZzHaIHdlw (actually a full album, a tribute to the late, great man himself who sat and sang by the fire and reminds me of my dear old Dad who loved to sing lots of these)

#5 The CLASSY TEA

The Classy Tea – Thursday 30th October 2014                                                                              Lakeside Hotel, Newby Bridge, Cumbria £49 for tea for two

Autumn has finally arrived, a little (lot) damp, but bursting with colour and still plenty of late warmth and sunshine. Since I last went to tea in September I have been so busy fitting in another tea has been impossible. A failed attempt to have my neck operation (no beds) meant back to work in a strange no mans land of being flexible enough to cover staff where needed and keeping my parent groups running, keeping the children in routine and making sure Queenie is waited on hand and foot.

My lovely friend A, fellow folkie, workmate and receiver of ranting (from me). Had organised for us to have this tea as a treat after my first op date, but we decided to take it now before the next attempt to have it. And it certainly was a treat. The grandest tea and the classiest to date by a huge margin.

Lakeside is in a beautiful position perched right on the edge of Windermere with opulent views of the lake and surrounding countryside. Although we arrived in a drizzle it didn’t actually spoil anything. It created a lovely autumnal atmosphere heightened by the charming pumpkin display at the door. The staff were friendly, professional and led us to our table in the conservatory where we could see across the lake and could admire the colourful leaf display put on by the trees on the opposite side of the water. As the afternoon progressed we watched the mist descend and drape itself across the hillsides like a crochet shawl, not thick enough to completely obscure anything, just enough to be cinematic.

Whilst not busy, the hotel was a hum of activity and a steady flow of diners progressed the afternoon. The cost of eating at Lakeside is obviously not off putting and there seemed to be a mix of residents, regulars and one-offers like ourselves. The quality of the food and service is reflected in the price and obviously designed to create an air of pamper, treat and exclusivity.

So, down to business. The table was set with a crisp cloth and napkins that matched my tights (well done for them knowing what I was going to wear), delicate white china and silver cutlery. Very understated and obviously a plain setting for the glories of the Tea to come.

First decision was the choice of tea. An incredible 12 different blends from the sedate Special Breakfast tea to the more exotic Jasmine Dragon Pearls or fruity Strawberry and Kiwi. A row of test tubes filled with the leaves of the different teas was presented for us to smell and discuss to help us decide which we wanted. A lovely touch, and made us feel like connoisseurs, smelling, discussing tone and notes we sniffed. I plumped for the Jasmine Dragon Pearls as I love a fragrant and punchy tea and A went with the exceptionally fruity Strawberry and Kiwi.

The tea arrived in elegant silver tea pots with matching strainers for the leaves and instructions as to how long to let brew. Mine was, as expected, very ‘garden’ tasting and very strongly smelling of jasmine. Lovely with or without milk, but disgusting with sugar if you were thinking of trying it. A’s tea was refreshing and fruity and gave a lovely perfume to our meal. We were able to choose other teas later in the meal and I want for the Special Breakfast, which was delicious and tasted of proper tea. A had the Blue Lady Tea, which was citrussy and mild.

 

This is the first Afternoon Tea I have had with a soup to start. In summer they serve a chilled soup but we were given little spheres with a hot potato and leek soup. There was just enough to get our tastebuds going, all the flavours came through, including a fantastic garlic note. Delicious.

The sandwiches were next well filled on a selection of brown and white bread, and served with some wisps of green salad. As both A and I are vegetarian we had requested no ham and got extra of the non-meat fillings instead. The Lancashire cheese was sharp and crumbly and highlighted by chutney. The free range egg flavour came through strongly with lovely peppery watercress. Now that is how you do vegetarian sandwiches!

A Three tiered cake stand came next with 9 (yes I mean NINE) different types of patisserie each. They were all too magnificent to call mere cake, and served in dainty portions to ensure a variety of taste, texture and flavour without overwhelming the tastebuds or stomachs.

   

A blackcurrant and an orange pate de fruits lolly were first. Vaguely reminiscent of York Jellies on a stick the blackcurrant was the one that tasted most obviously of the fresh fruit. Next a cherry battenburg hit with strong almond and cherry flavours and a lovely moist sponge. The delicate size scone was warm fruity, buttery and served with local damson jam and AT LAST proper clotted cream. The scone I have been waiting for. Its small size was initially disappointing but coupled with the amount of the rest of the food turned out to be just perfect, with a crisp outside and packed with flavour.

A tiny Madeleine was stuffed with butter, sticky on the outside with a crunch and slightly chewy on the inside. This led onto a sour apple and ginger macaroon. It was subtle in its gingerness to allow the apple to come through and had the perfect amount of chew to it. A large Praline Paris Brest (ooh er matron) was to share and we both felt the choux pastry was deliciously crisp and the filling nutty and chocolatey. The slim Yorkshire fruit cake finger was jam packed with fruit, and over flowing with glace cherries, and was so moist and tasty that I could definitely have eaten A’s piece if she hadn’t beaten me to it. The final treat was a warm chocolate and pear fondant. Perfect to leave to last as the strong, rich chocolate lingered on the palate. The pear and ginger compote in the middle was tangy and mingled well with the warm cake.

There was not a crumb left.

A and I scoffed it all. It was far too delicious to leave and nothing was too overpowering to spoil anything else. We left feeling spoiled and special, the staff had been knowledgeable but made us feel so too. A thoroughly enjoyable afternoon, spent with the best company in elegant surroundings and even the traffic delays on the way home (curse you Lindal roadworks) didn’t spoil it at all.

Highly recommended for treats for yourself and others you treasure. Not one I’ll forget in a hurry!

Overall marks (out of 5 stars)

Service:                             *****      Friendly, unhurried, extremely knowledgeable

Amount of Food:               *****      Just right, no leftovers so no waste

Quality of Food:                *****      Amazing, especially the patisserie

Value for money:              ****        Good value for the exceptional quality, but pricey for a regular treat

Description:                       ‘Dainty cakes’ ‘A tea tasting journey’ ‘An amazing variety of taste and texture’ ‘Excellent                                                           patisserie’ ‘Could do without the triffid in the window’

The website for The Lakeside Hotel is here http://www.lakesidehotel.co.uk/

They are also on Trip Advisor here http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g499545-d250557-Reviews-Lakeside_Hotel-Newby_Bridge_Lake_District_Cumbria_England.html and on facebook and twitter.

And my suggested track for today’s tea is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq9rZE69K8c  (Because of the tea choices)